I caught up with my besties last night - God, it was good a good catch up. I then came home to have a maje discussion with my parents about saving for the future and what I wanted to do in life.

Honestly, over the years, I learnt to put up a wall when my parents started talking about things like this. At first I just thought it was because they were annoying (typical 15 year old). But as I've gotten older, I've realised that wall isn't there because I think they're annoying, it's because I actually don't know what my future holds and in some ways am afraid of it.

Having gone through all the shit my head allows it to go through, I've realised that there is ONE major uncertainty in life - I may not wake up tomorrow. Yes, I know how bleak that sounds for 9am on a Saturday but that is the truth! I've tried one too many times to end my own life to be certain that tomorrow will come. Don't get me wrong, I've definitely learnt that there is more to life and blah, blah, blah BUT how many people in the world can tell me that they are certain that they will be here in the next 10 years or 5 months or 2 weeks or even tomorrow, to see their hard earned dollars placed in homes, investments, material possessions.

Is it wrong that I live by the saying: 'live for today'? Quotes like this get thrown around like crazy to sound cool and be individual but how many people out there actually live this way? Is it wrong that I earn my money, then spend my money the way that I want to spend it, rather then saving for a rainy day or a house? 

I used to be such a snob a judge those who don't travel when they can or don't spoil themselves on the odd occasion because they are saving to buy a house BUT I've realised that judging these people is wrong because like myself, we are ALL different and have different priorities. Some people prioritise settling down over seeing the world. I on the other hand prioritise seeing the world. I don't have any major responsibilities, I don't have a loan, I don't own a house so why should I be judged for saving a few grand and buying a fuck off bag or travelling to New York? Does spending my hard earned dollar the way that I want to spend it make me a bad person? I think not.

To end my rant on a good note, I made an amazing white chocolate and coconut cake yesterday. It tasted like Raffaello and it was amazing if I do say so myself.


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