EATS: Toast, Hill's country chicken, fruit salad, grilled chicken and kale salad.
SHOPS: Polaroid camera and phone credit
MOOD: Determined.

So it turns out, I'm more scattered than a middle-aged lady about to hit menopause.

I made the trek to West 34 and 9th to visit the renowned B&H Photography store. I walked in with a plan to buy an old film camera to take experimental photos on. Two seconds after walking in, I'm presented with every flashy camera under the sun. Three seconds later, I change my mind about the camera. Of course under unnecessary pressure from no one, I panic. 

I was then taken out on a second date to lunch. It was perfect - fried chicken and a biscuit. We left the restaurant, started walking until I had realised we had walked 20 blocks and coincidently ended right outside their apartment. Being the lovely person that they are, I was invited up. Three seconds after walking in, we were playing tongue wars. Two seconds after they took their top came off, I looked at perfection and then I changed my mind, made a lame excuse and ran; I panicked.

This got me thinking, everyone has some sort of plan or idea as to how things should be. However, when presented with a wider and better selection at the last second, is it normal to panic over the possible change? I guess to avoid panic,  it's important to 'roll with the punches'. Mind you, if I eat any more fried chicken, I will literally be swallowing peoples punches in my rolls.

Now that I've made my decision to 'find myself', I must admit, a terrible weight has been lifted off my shoulder BUT I still end today with a little disappointment because I feel like I made no major changes. I guess this is another example of 'unnecessary pressure from no one'. A friend sent me a beautiful quote today saying: 'Don't forget to fall in love with yourself first'. I guess I just need to learn to open my little Asian eyes to the reality of life and the possibilities of change. Afterall, that's what I want, right?

Needless to say, I left today with a rad Polaroid camera and a third date.

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